Choosing death - did I fail?

Sometimes I have to deal with very emotional challenges and go through deep shifts myself before understanding the reason for it all.

That’s how it went in the next case: a woman called me and asked me to come to her husband who was in a very helpless state. He had an advanced form of cancer and she hoped that I could help him.

I went there with a slightly uneasy feeling. It is a painful sight to see someone suffer like that. I was filled with sadness and felt uncertain about whether I could help him

The man was lying in bed. I introduced myself and explained my purpose for being there. Carefully, I sat down next to him on the edge of the bed and gently placed my hands on him. We immediately had a loving connection and it was as if we had known each other for a long time. It felt very special. The session had a warm quality to it and I left feeling like I had met fantastic individuals.

A week later his wife reached out to me again and asked for another session, which I happily agreed to.

When I visited him again, I was completely taken aback. He looked much worse than before my first visit and I was immediately overcome with guilt, as if I had caused this. I went to his wife and approached her about it. She hugged me and said that she was very grateful for my visit. She told me that her husband had been resisting his passing, and that that had been such a dark journey that they both ended up feeling hopeless. Through the first session, a peace had come over him. He finally let go and stopped fighting.

I felt partially relieved by her perspective and of course deeply sad that he wasn’t going to make it, because of how much I would have loved to see him rise… I gave him another healing session and we said a loving goodbye afterwards. He died in peace a few days later. 

I realized that everything has a purpose, even if it looks different from what I had hoped for.